I need your opinion. Complete resolution may not be possible, but you can make things a little easier if you can look at the situation from your child’s point of view. The bottom line is, most people aren’t honest about what they really want out of life and relationships. Assure him of your love and commitment to him, and tell him that you realize no one could ever replace his dad. It might be doable, but I’d rather not attempt it. My son is 23, lives with me and does nothing. Let's just say, it didn’t go over well for the few people I had gone on dates with. Plain and simple. She was my 8th grade best friend who moved 12 hours away from where I live afterwards. This seems pretty self-explanatory, but I’ll elaborate. It’s hard enough to find one person I want to date, let alone having to pacify someone’s ex to keep the relationship happy. Anyone I date would be highly involved in his life. But at this point, dating someone who has children of his own just doesn’t fit with my life goals. My son lives with me 100 percent of the time, seven days a week, 24 hours a day. She tried to blackmail me by letting her grades go down the tubes. Single moms end up with single dads, right? He doesn't go out to hang out with anyone. Based on the responses I got, I damn near-rivaled Donald Trump for the title of up-and-coming super villain. I’m a single mom with a 3-year-old son, and I won’t date someone who has kids. I feel that my son doesn't get invites to playdates because I happen to be a working mum and am therefore not usually at the school gates (out of sight, out of mind). Start by being honest with yourself and with what you really want. No one can replace his dad, and to his mind that’s exactly what you’re trying to do. I’d rather it be harder to date than date someone who doesn’t share that value (fortunately I have a partner who shares my values extremely closely, so hey, it can be done! It has been him and I for as long as he can remember. Even if you feel good about the time you guys spend together, if he’s not putting in effort and trying harder in getting to know you, he probably doesn’t … He doesn’t know what he wants because he doesn’t want you As hard as it is to accept, the guy you’re interested in may just not want you. How can I best explain to him my reasons for desiring adult male companionship? Women under 30 tend to solely want guys for how He's a 17 year old kid who has never had a girlfriend. I’m really not interested in dating someone who has a kid. Ninety percent of the time, where there’s a baby, there’s a baby mama. I have tried to speak to a few of the mums about arranging a play date, but they always tend to be non-commital and say they have lots of other things planned. It shouldn’t be a part of yours, either. Frankly, if she was cool with you dating an ex-convict who shot and killed someone, I would question her sanity. Settling is no longer a part of my routine. He likes reading and spends most days on his computer, watching films and writing stories. I’m one of them. How can I help him know it won't change our relationship? His I decided not to let her My son has now temporarily moved to his Sisters, as they both saying they can’t live together, my husband feels my son doesn’t help around the house mostly and l do everything! He has registered on and off at the jobcentre. If he is withdrawn from the world and this is a recent development it is possible that he is experiencing depression or anxiety which is causing him to isolate himself. My son was in a domestic violence relationship My son simply doesn't like to "share" me with anyone else. For the longest time, after having my son and raising him on my own, I thought I’d be destined to settle for someone with a tribe of his own children. You might start by including your boyfriend in some activities that your son enjoys, such as hiking, bike-riding, or going to a ball game. As a divorced woman, what can I do about my young child's resistance to my efforts to develop relationships with men and to have a social life outside the home? No, I don't think you should intervene with him. Take it slow. 8605 Explorer Drive Colorado Springs, CO 80920-1051, call Focus on the Family’s Counseling department, Tough Love in Adult Relationships: What It Is, What It’s Not, and How to Use It, Grandparents Threatened to Either Support Transgender Grandchild or Be Cut Off, How to Find Counseling Support for Teen With Sexual Identity Issues. Best of luck.”. As you stated, people are just shallow. If someone single and kid-free comes into our lives who can add to that, maybe I’ll partner up. How can I best explain to him my reasons for desiring adult male companionship? Hi sorry doesn’t make u feel better I can relate I lost my son on the 02082019 due to suicide any it doesn’t get better u try and heal but memories come rushing in ppl say time heals but it never does just a small memory of ur child After several failed attempts to adjust my relationship goals to this idea of a blended family, I finally got honest with myself (and the people I was dating). Home » Family QAs » Get Help » Family Q&A » Parenting Q&As » Child Doesn’t Want Single Mom to Date. I have only one child, who I love and adore more than life itself. But if he has his own kids, it’s game over. I don’t live a typical lifestyle, nor would I ever want to. He mostly works out in the garage all day building radios, and messing with his HAM radio (he can build just about anything). Boy and girl fall in love. Why doesn't my son matter? Explain that you don’t expect your boyfriend to be his father, but that because you love him very much, you want him to have a place in the family as well. Otherwise, what often happens is that the child gets accustomed to his parent’s dating partner, begins to form an attachment, and then the relationship ends, resulting in yet another experience of significant loss in the child’s life. The next time you become involved in a romantic relationship, don’t push your son to get to know your boyfriend until the two of you are sure that you’re moving toward engagement and marriage. I have overwhelming respect for anyone raising kids on their own because I know it can be a tough gig. If I wanted another woman in my relationship, I would invite one. Most guys in their teens and 20's date … I won’t even consider dating someone unless he treated him really, really well. If that’s not enough to make you think I’m a hypocritical bitch, let me venture even further. Yes, you read that right. 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